My son Adam is about to head off to College, and just finished the college football recruiting process. He’s a 6′ 3.5″, 283-pound offensive lineman, was the team captain, earned first-team all-conference, first-team all-state awards, and helped lead his team to a state championship. Local recruiting reporter Andrew Nemec (Sports Illustrated, ESPN-affiliate 1080 The FAN) called their offensive line “the best group I’ve seen in a decade or so” and credited them as the elite group that fueled the title run. On paper, that resume should open doors. In reality, we learned a lot about the recruiting process.
We went into this process knowing almost nothing other than the typical stuff you hear on the internet. If you’re a parent or player about to go through this, I hope our experience saves you time, money, and frustration.
What We Were Told Going In
The conventional wisdom was pretty straightforward:
- Make sure your high school coach is advocating for you.
- Get good game film on Twitter/X and reach out to college coaches.
- Keep your grades up.
- Attend a few camps at schools you’re interested in.
Sounds reasonable. Logical even. Here’s what we learned.
Your High School Coach Is a Reference, Not a Recruiter
I want to start by saying we loved our high school coaching staff. They were incredible with Adam and poured everything into the program. But going in, I had expectations about their role in the recruiting process that, looking back, weren’t fair or realistic.
I thought Adam’s high school coach would be a major driver in getting him looks. The reality? Your coach is a reference check. College coaches will call them to ask about your kid’s character, work ethic, and coachability, and you absolutely want that conversation to go well.
But if you’re counting on your coach to actively get your kid an offer, you’re setting expectations that aren’t part of their job. Most high school coaches have a full-time job, whether that’s teaching at the school or working somewhere else in the community. Coaching isn’t what pays their bills. It’s a passion, and they pour themselves into it, but at the end of the day, their priority is winning high school games with the team they have. Helping with recruiting is them going above and beyond, and it’s frankly not their job.
Advocate for Yourself Because Nobody Else Will
This was one of the bigger lessons we learned. Adam had multiple college coaches reach out on Twitter saying they were visiting his school. Adam assumed his coaching staff and administration would loop him in. This didn’t always happen. He’d find out after the fact that a college coach had come, visited with other teammates, and left, and he wasn’t pulled out of class to meet them.
This happened twice. The first time a D1 FCS school visited, they told Adam they were looking forward to meeting him, yet Adam wasn’t pulled out. We assumed the college coach had just changed their mind, maybe they lost interest, maybe the visit fell through. We chalked it up to the process. The second time, Adam found out when a different college coach actually DM’d him afterward, asking where he was, and why he didn’t visit him. The coach had asked for him, but wires got crossed somewhere. Looking back, we’re confident the first time was a similar miscommunication. That’s a D1 FCS opportunity that slipped through the cracks, not because anyone had bad intentions, but because the process has a lot of moving parts and your kid isn’t anyone else’s top priority.
The lesson: micromanage this process. If a college coach tells you they’re visiting your school, tell your administration and coaching staff directly. Say the words: “Coach [Name] from [University] is expecting to see me. When should I leave class?” Don’t assume the logistics will take care of themselves—everyone involved has a hundred other things on their plate, and your kid’s recruiting visit may not be top of mind for anyone but you.
Grades: Important, But Let’s Be Honest
Everyone talks about the importance of grades, and yes, they matter. But let’s be realistic about how much.
At the D1 level, there are certain academic schools that will absolutely filter you out with bad grades. But there are also plenty of stellar athletes across D1 who are barely passing. So while grades are talked about constantly in the recruiting process by all sides, in practice they feel like more of an afterthought for most programs at the top level.
Where grades actually become a strategic advantage is at the D2 level and below. Good grades can unlock academic financial aid that helps cover costs beyond tuition, which leads to maybe the most important thing we learned. Adam is actually getting some great academic assistance because of his grades, and that’s making a real financial difference.
But here’s the other side of it: Adam trains with a D1/Pro-level player who was open about the fact that grades weren’t a significant factor in his recruitment (he laughed at how poor his GPA was). At that level of athleticism, the academic piece becomes less of a gatekeeper. So grades are one of those things where the advice is technically correct, but the reality is more nuanced. If you’re an elite-level athlete, programs will find a way to make it work. If you’re not, good grades become a financial tool more than a recruiting tool.
Full Ride vs. Scholarship: Know the Difference
This was a wake-up call. In D1, when you hear “full ride,” that means everything—tuition, room, board, fees, the whole package.
At every other level, a “scholarship” typically covers tuition only. Room and board and fees? That’s on you. And here’s the thing: room, board, and fees are often the most expensive part of attending college. So when a school offers your kid a “scholarship,” make sure you understand exactly what that covers before you start celebrating.
Twitter/X: Do It, But Manage Your Expectations
Yes, post your film on Twitter. Yes, reach out to coaches. But understand the reality of what’s happening on the other end.
Most coaches at bigger programs have their DMs blocked from people they don’t follow. A lot of schools hire grad assistants to review incoming film. These people are sifting through thousands of submissions and often don’t have a deep understanding of every position. So what are the odds your kid gets skipped even with great film? Extraordinarily high.
One D3 coach told us directly: “If I’m slow to respond, it’s because I have 10,000 DMs from 8th graders asking me to review their film.”
So post your film. Make it available. But don’t make it your primary strategy for generating interest.
That said, once a school became interested in Adam, whether through a camp, a network connection, or a referral, the conversations almost always happened on Twitter/X. It became the primary means of communication between Adam and college coaches. So the platform absolutely matters, just not in the way we originally expected. Outbound contact such as cold DMs to coaches, rarely, if ever, worked. But inbound interest? That all flowed through Twitter/X. Make sure your kid’s profile, film, and contact info are polished and easy to find, because when a coach does come looking, that’s where they’ll go.
Your Inner Circle: Club Coaches and Personal Connections Were Our Secret Weapon
This surprised us. The best advocates Adam had weren’t his high school coaches or Twitter outreach—they were the people who knew him personally and had connections into the college coaching world.
The middle school coach. Adam had a middle school coach who stayed in touch with his college football buddies, many of whom are now coaches at local D3 schools. Through this one connection, Adam got his first offer, along with several others. Those first offers were the domino that changed everything. They got Adam added to the “watch list” at camps, because some of those D3 coaches were working the camps. And being on the watch list is what ultimately led to Western Oregon. Without that middle school coach making those initial calls, the entire trajectory is different.
Club coaches. Adam regularly attended two club programs, and both of them went to bat for him. They leveraged their networks to backchannel with college programs, find out where Adam stood with a school, and actively advocated on his behalf. They did this for other kids too. These coaches also frequently help out at college camps, which means they can make sure your kid actually gets looked at when it matters.
If your kid isn’t involved in a quality club program, seriously consider it. And don’t underestimate the power of staying connected with coaches from every level, even middle school! You never know whose phone call opens the first door.
Camps: More Important Than We Thought (With a Huge Caveat)
We originally thought camps were a nice-to-have. They’re actually critical. But here’s what nobody tells you upfront: there’s a pecking order, and if you’re not on the right side of it, you might as well stay home.
When you register for a camp, the college coaches already have a list of kids they want to evaluate. Those kids get put in one group. Everyone else gets put in another group—usually identified by different colored armbands or some other marker. That second group? Largely ignored.
Learning this the hard way was extremely discouraging. College coaches have limited time and they’re focused on their priority targets. If you’re not on their watch list, it’s very difficult to get meaningful evaluation time.
The takeaway: Before committing to a camp, do everything you can to get on a school’s radar that is attending that camp first. Use your club coaches, your network, anyone who can get you on the preferred list. Otherwise, you may not get the evaluation you’re hoping for.
Potential vs. Performance (i.e. the “stats”) : The Hardest Pill to Swallow
Indiana head coach Curt Cignetti has talked openly about this—his famous mantra is “production over potential.” He built a national championship team around it. But here’s the thing: Cignetti is the exception. Almost everyone else in college football recruits on potential over performance. And potential, at the offensive line position, starts with measurables—especially at the D1 level.
Adam is first-team all-conference. First-team all-state. State champion. Part of an offensive line that a respected recruiting reporter called the best he’d seen in a decade. Zero D1 offers. Meanwhile, kids in the same state who didn’t receive those honors have D1 offers. The key difference? Adam is 6’3.5″ with shorter arms. Those other kids are 6’5″ and above.
Here’s how recruiting actually works: it’s a numbers game, just like hiring in business. HR filters out candidates based on resume keywords. College coaches filter out linemen based on measurables. If you’re not over 6’4″ with a sufficient wingspan, it’s really hard to get a look. Height, arm length, and hand size are the filters before anyone even watches your film.
How did we come by the 6’4” cutoff? We observed it being used in a D1 camp to separate groups for evaluations, as well as several college visits. We could be wrong, but this was our observation.
Regardless, if your kid doesn’t fit the physical profile, understand that the path is going to be harder—regardless of how well they actually play.
College Visits: Ask the Hard Questions Before You Go
One of the things we learned is that colleges do “courtesy” invites. These are invites extended to high school players that the program has little to no actual interest in recruiting. Think of it as community outreach, as it’s good for the school’s brand, and for establishing good rapport with regional high schools. And just like at camps, you’ll be sorted into groups when you arrive, usually with an armband or similar marker so coaches know who to focus on and who to politely acknowledge. We didn’t know any of this going into these visits.
University of Idaho. Our oldest daughter went to Idaho, so there was a personal connection. We signed up through their prospect visit form, hoping to get a legitimate evaluation. The kickoff session was very well run, but this is where we learned that film screening is handled by recruiting staff, and not by the position coaches. So even though we were there, it was obvious no coaches evaluated Adam. These programs receive thousands of submissions, and the people doing the first pass aren’t always in a position to deeply evaluate the nuances of every position. This is the same dynamic as the Twitter DMs—great film can still get lost in the shuffle.
It became clear pretty quickly that we were in the courtesy group.
Here’s the kicker. While we were in the stands watching the game, some fans asked Adam where he went to high school. When he told them, they lit up: “Oh man, we have some amazing players from there. Do you guys know [Player A] and [Player B]? Couldn’t believe how ready they were to play college ball.” Former teammates. Playing at Idaho. Thriving.
You know what we didn’t do that I wish we had? Reached out to those guys beforehand. Asked them about life at Idaho. Asked them to put in a word with the offensive line coach. A direct referral from a current player to the position coach could have completely changed how that visit went. Instead, we went through the front door and missed an opportunity to make a real impression. The backdoor was right there and we didn’t use it. Worst case scenario if we had, would be to receive feedback like, “I looked at him, but don’t see it due to x,y or z.”
Washington State. Same lesson, different angle. Adam was invited to visit WSU. It seemed like real interest as they asked us to put together a film of specific drills, which took a few hours to produce. We drove there, spent the night, and showed up the next day only to be placed in the courtesy group. We were hoping to leave with some serious interest or maybe even a PWO offer. Instead, it was a nice tour.
In hindsight, we should have been direct before the visit: “We’re extremely interested in WSU, but traveling there is a real cost for us. Are you inviting us because you have a legitimate interest, or is this an open invite?” Coaches across the board are actually great at being honest about this, but only if you ask. We didn’t.
Great father-son bonding time, but an expensive lesson in asking the right questions upfront.
What to ask when you’re there. When you do visit, ask the tough questions. Don’t be shy as coaches respect directness and they’d rather have an honest conversation than waste anyone’s time. Ask things like: Where am I on your recruiting board? How deep are you at my position? How do you see me fitting into the program and contributing? What should I be focusing on to make myself more ready to play here?
If your goal is ultimately D1 and you’re talking to D2 or D3 programs, ask them about their philosophy on the transfer portal and supporting players who want to move up a level. Every coach we talked to had their own take on it, but they were all very aware of the new landscape and were open about how they support that process. Western Oregon actually bragged about the number of kids from their conference who transferred to D1 programs. That tells you something about the culture and the development. The coaches who are transparent about this are the ones who actually care about your kid’s long-term path, not just filling a roster spot.
Don’t Sleep on D2 and D3 Programs
I want to take a moment on this because it’s important. We were blown away by the quality and camaraderie of the D2 and D3 programs we visited. The coaches genuinely cared about us. They wanted Adam. They were vocal about how he would fit into their program and where he would play. There was a warmth and personal investment that stood out. I will forever be grateful for the time and attention these schools spent with Adam and I.
So many kids go into this process with a “D1 or bust” mentality, and I get it as D1 is the dream. That being said, I’d encourage every family to look favorably at D2 and D3 programs. College is about more than football. These programs often offer a tighter-knit community, more personal attention from coaches, and a college experience where your kid is valued as a whole person, and not just a set of measurables. And with the transfer portal, there are multiple examples where a strong D2 or D3 program can absolutely be a launching pad to D1.
What Actually Works: Leverage Your Network
If I had to boil this entire post down to one sentence, it would be this: your network is your recruiting strategy.
I’ve already covered the middle school coach and club coaches above as they were Adam’s most impactful advocates by far. But there were other network connections that mattered as well.
High school teammates already playing at the college level. A former teammate playing at Central Washington told the offensive line coach he had to look at Adam. I’m pretty sure that’s what put Adam on the radar there. I wish we had leaned into this approach more and earlier in the process.
The common thread across all of it: every meaningful opportunity Adam had was from someone who picked up the phone on his behalf. Not a Twitter DM. Not a form submission. A real person vouching for him to another real person.
Timeline: When Does This Actually Start?
You’ll hear that junior year film is everything, and that you need strong junior accolades to create momentum and land top-tier offers. There’s truth to that, and Adam didn’t have a standout junior film, which made the process harder.
But here’s the counter: one of Adam’s teammates got a full-ride offer to a top-5 D1 program having not played his junior year at all, and didn’t even earn the starting spot until halfway through his senior season. So while junior film helps, it’s not the only path.
Unless you’re an elite D1 prospect who signs early, the real pressure starts in December of senior year. Before that, enjoy the college game day visits in the fall as they’re genuinely fun and a great way to get a feel for different programs. But once December hits, the urgency ramps up. Signing day is coming, rosters are filling, and the window starts closing. Just be ready for that shift.
Where Adam Landed and What it all Comes Back to
Adam is going to Western Oregon. The interest started the summer before his senior year, after he performed well at a regional camp that happened to be hosted there. Here’s the thing, he was only in the preferred group at that camp because a D3 coach had added him as an “interest.” That D3 connection got him into the right group, he performed, and Western Oregon noticed.
No Twitter DM made that happen. No high school coach made that call. It was a network connection that got him in the right group, a camp that gave him the stage, and his performance that closed the deal. Every single lesson we learned the hard way is right there in how it actually played out.
What I thought mattered most going in:
- Get good grades
- Have your high school coach advocate for you
- Post film on Twitter and reach out to coaches
What I found actually moves the needle:
- Leverage your network: club coaches, old coaches (even from middle school), high school teammates already playing in college. This is the single biggest thing. Adam’s first offers, his camp watch list placement, and ultimately his landing spot at Western Oregon all came through personal connections.
- Yes, post film on Twitter so it’s there when coaches look—but don’t rely on it as your primary outbound strategy. It’s where the conversations happen once a school is interested, not how you generate the interest.
- Camps are more important than I expected, but only if you’re on the preferred watch list. If you’re in the courtesy group, you’re unlikely to get the evaluation you’re hoping for.
- Good grades help you get academic aid at D2/D3 programs, which can make a meaningful difference in the total cost. Think of it as creating a better “all-in” offer.
- Ask the direct, uncomfortable questions before investing time and money in visits.
- Understand that measurables almost always matter more than performance, especially at the D1 level, and plan your strategy accordingly.
- Micromanage the process at your high school. Don’t assume the logistics will be handled for you as miscommunications happen, and opportunities can slip through the cracks.
The recruiting process is a grind. It’s emotional, it’s expensive, and it’s full of lessons you can only learn by going through it. But if you take one thing from this post, let it be this: build your network early, lean on it hard, and make sure your kid is in the right group at the right camp. I hope sharing our experience helps someone else navigate the highs and lows a little better!








